Star magazine is up to its old tricks, using their advanced tabloid mainframe to project what the hellspawn of white-trashy pop star/part-time waitress Britney Spears and white-trash-aspirational background-dancing inseminator extraordinaire Kevin Federline might look like. Unfortunately for the potential male offspring, that do rag is not a fashion accessory, it's the top of the poor tyke's head; removing it would expose his already massively-disadvantaged brain to the elements.

Those Fruit Loops tasted better on the way down than they do on the return journey, didn't they?

• BRITNEY SPEARS PREGNANT! [Star]
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• While You Were Eastering [Defamer]

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