We don't know where a supposedly "hacked" Sidekick sex tape of rap-rock afterthought Fred Durst came from, or whether it has anything to do with Sidekicks (as alleged), hacks, or Paris Hilton Sidekick hacks (it probably doesn't), but we know this: If we could, we'd uninvent the internet if it would put this particular genie back in the proverbial genie container, just so we would never have had to hear Durst urge his partner to "touch my balls and my ass," or to see the resulting reacharound*. Or Durst's "O" face (pictured). These psychic scars will never fade.

[*Technically, this might be a "reach-under."]

UPDATE: See the video here. [Click at your own peril—Way WAY beyond the valley of the NSFW.] We've gained a little perspective on this in the last hour that may make all of this easier to swallow, as it were: At least the vid doesn't have any anal.

• Also: Fred Durst's T-Mobile Hacked Sex Tape [CC]

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