Perhaps the only news that's become more mundane than rumors of new Paris Hilton sex tapes are stories involving molestation lawsuits against Michael Jackson. Celebrity Justice has court papers with fresh allegations (well, fresh from 1984) of inappropriate uses of a rhinestone glove and an cuddly team of llamas. (Wouldn't it be easier if there were some kind of clearinghouse that issued a weekly report of Jackson lawsuits, or an "all clear" message in accusation-light weeks?) We definitely don't recommend reading the documents, unless you want your dreams haunted by visualizations of phrases like "Jackson swallowing the semen" or "Jackson engaging in anal touching" which are peppered through Item 6 of the complaint. You've been warned.

• New Allegations Surface Michael Jackson [Celebrity Justice]

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