Of all the conspiracy theories half-whispered around town about how Crash managed to win Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain (Jack Nicholson didn't read the correct name, Paul Haggis' buddies at the Scientology mothership put the fix in, etc etc) this might be our favorite.* But as long as we're all still willing to cling to the idea something more sinister than simple, honest bad taste delivered Crash the victory, we submit a new crackpot theory: Tom Hanks wasn't cursing as he took the stage, he was actually casting a spell that changed the winner in the biggest awards race because he was angry with Brokeback screenwriter Larry McMurtry for wearing jeans to the ceremony.

[*If we don't explicitly mention that this is someone's Photoshop project and not the actual ballot, we're going to get e-mail telling us that we're stupid for believing in a fake ballot, so there you have it: The above mock-up is not to be used for actual Oscar voting.]

[McMurtry Photo: Getty Images]

• Oscar-gate [Nick Starr via Towleroad]

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