· A reader asks us, "This is fake, right?" Considering how Will Ferrell and his merry, viral pranksters at Funny or Die have burned us before, we have to say it is. But it's still fun watching George-Michael getting mouthy, to say nothing of imagining him impregnating Katherine Heigl.
· We barely had time to get to the other drug-and-alchohol-related starlet hospitalization news. This truly was a Memorial Day weekend to remember.
· We don't know about you, but the sight of ripped, 60-year-old orange men in thongs never fails to awaken the beasts within us.
· Thank you, Odyssey! You're our one-stop destination for all our celebrity-sex-tape shopping needs—even the ones we forgot existed.
· Salma Hayek: Now more than ever, a series of massive, congruent orbs.
· And because today has been nothing but sadness, we leave you with a glimmer of hope: Elisabeth Hasselbeck is trying to patch things up with Rosie! We're going to climb into our inversion therapy Happy Bouncer™ and pray for their reconciliation.

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