· You think the insanity outside Kitson was an accident? Here's 10 reasons why Paris Hilton is a business genius.
· Today's star-studded Merv Griffin funeral featured best fag-hag Nancy Reagan (in—gasp!—white), and a Seacrest-in-mourning, working the same fierce sunglasses as his blonde companion.
· Join the crusade to halt filming downtown, possibly saving Nicole Kidman from untold injury.
· We forget: Are The Buzzcocks playing the Giant Juiced Dong stage or the Glistening Tube stage?
· And finally, enjoy this all-kitten reenactment of poorly received Body Snatchers remake, The Invasion.

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