· Eva Longoria has apparently told Allure magazine that boyfriend Tony Parker has slept with only one other person in his life and that she's the "teacher" in their relationship. This might be a really dumb question, but do you ever think it occurs to her to not say the stupidest fucking possible thing when someone turns on a tape recorder? Just wonderin'.
Ever since StreetWars loosed its assassins on LA's population at midnight on Sunday, their blog has been a reliably entertaining time waster. It's all fun and games until someone with a SuperSoaker gets mistaken for a gangbanger and gunned down by the LAPD.
Losanjealous has our livers' backs with their St. Patricks' Day Boozing Guide.
Quick, how many puns can you think of involving popular snack food brands and slang for marijuana? Probably not this many.
· Oops, we forgot: Tomorrow is the big assistant Beirut/beer pong tourney at El Guapo. We expect full reports in our inbox by Monday morning! Especially if someone gets into a fight with a Benderspink guy.

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