· At last, the Marty Tregnan Golf Academy explained. (Apologies to anyone who's never been to Griffith Park and has no idea why one should care about this enigma of the golf-instruction world.)
· From the Dept. of Classy Problems: Charlize Theron is being sued for wearing the wrong jewelry.
· Killjoy CBS censors a grizzly-sodomy joke on a Two and a Half Men title card that was probably funnier than anything Charlie Sheen did in last night's episode.
· Paula Abdul is under the hilariously naive impression that she owns her own life. Silly Paula!
· Ted Haggard is only gay for that one hustler with the good meth connection.

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