· We gaze upon the Chosen One. Her short life is already rife with incident. Having fled Namibia just in time, might we soon see her at The Grove?
· The Week in Paris Hilton Automotive Crime: Displacing the handicapped. Fleeing from accidents.
· Even Batman thinks Superman's gay.
· Fox spreads evil across our skies, hoping to nudge up The Omen's tracking. And son of the Devil, it worked.
· Lindsay Lohan has many, many lovers and knows many, many designers.
· Marc Anthony loves Jennifer Lopez so much, he wants all of the executives in Hollywood to know it.
· We don't care if Hunky Poppins isn't single. Kevin Federline can not be happy about this.
· Some Hollywood-types think Tom Cruise should take an extended vacation. We just can't wait to see his amazing voice work in Cars!
· Disney makes a killing selling Rabid Dog Chow.
· It's hard to really pick sides in the Piven Vs. Dorff Bathroom Line Smackdown.
· Farewell, power corridor. We hardly knew ye.

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