Horrible "Onslaught of Snakes" Closes Horrible High School Horribly

Well, that's as good a reason as any to cancel finals.

Via Russia's Interfax news agency, here's a reminder that America's public school system could be a whole lot worse:

OSH. April 15 (Interfax) - Classes have been suspended at a high school in the Alay district of the Osh region in southern Kyrgyzstan because of an onslaught of snakes, a spokesman for the Kyrgyz Emergency Situations Ministry told Interfax on Tuesday.

Up to 30 snakes, which pose a threat to the health of the school's 20 teachers and 144 students, have been spotted in the school building every day since the beginning of spring, the spokesman said. The school is located in the village of Birinchi of the Alay district.

Local residents asked the Public Health Inspectorate and the veterinary department to deal with the situation, but they were unable to take the required measures.

Classes at the school were suspended following a decision made by Emergency Situations Ministry specialists who examined the building, the spokesman said.

What kind of snakes may they be? According to the website "Wildlife of Kyrgyzstan," they could be any number of vipers or racers or mambas or cobras, and maybe they're not poisonous, probably not, but who gives a shit, because a pile of snakes is scary regardless, maybe even scarier than Common Core.

On the plus side, maybe some of those Kyrgyz schoolkids start a garage band called Onslaught Of Snakes, and it's awesome.

[Photo credit: Shutterstock/reptiles4all; h/t Hayes Brown]