Kraft Reports String-Cheese Recall, Probable Shortage

Millions of packages of Polly-O and Kraft string cheese that came from a plant in upstate New York have been recalled after complaints that the cheese was discolored and spoiled too soon—enough to cause a devastating string cheese shortage all across the U.S.

Adding to the incipient snack food apocalypse is the fact that the company doesn't know when the product will be back in stores. "There are many variables that could affect how products get back into stock after a recall," a Kraft representative told Fox News.

Let's just hope that like the brief moment when it looked like Twinkies would go away forever and the recent hypothesized Velveeta shortage (driven by excess demand, apparently), the Kraft epidemic passes quickly and we can all go back to peacefully pulling apart our string cheeses (rather than biting down on them whole, that's just weird) and devouring them.

But watch out for the Great Lunchables Famine of 2014. It's coming.

Update: A Kraft spokesperson writes in:

I wanted clarify that Kraft did not announce a shortage of string cheese and that the issue is not indefinite as reported in the headline. Back in October, we did announce a recall of some varieties of Kraft and Polly-O String Cheese and String Cheese Twists products due to premature spoilage. And any time there is a recall of this size, it's possible to experience a temporary product shortage. But as we have been communicating to our customers, we expect to have product back on store shelves in March.