High School Teacher Barges Into Student's Home, Breaks Kid's Nose

This, I think we can all agree, is poor teaching. Michael Ciccareli, a history teacher at King City High in King City, Calif., was arrested today after he allegedly broke into a 15-year-old student's home and beat the hell out of the teen.

Why would a high school teacher — who you are supposed to be able to turn to with any and all of your problems — seek out and attack a student? Well, the kid was fucking a female teenage relative of Ciccareli's. I mean, really, what else could it have been?

According to police, Ciccareli noticed that both teens were absent from a wrestling practice on Nov. 21. He then made his way over to the boy's house, where he somehow got inside before literally ripping the kid's bedroom door off of its hinges. There, he found the boy and girl, who are dating, screwing each other — as high school kids do! — and pulled the boy out of bed and assaulted him viciously.

According to a sheriff's office release, Ciccareli "punched John Doe with a closed fist several times in the face, and at one point kicked him in the face while he was on the ground." The boy suffered a broken nose, and either a bruised or inflated ego depending on his temperament.

One day, likely during college, he'll tell this story and no one will believe him, and he'll turn to Google and find this story. So, hey, kid.