Mally Bieber Back in Jail, Asks God "Can I Have a Family?"

OG Mally Bieber, the baby monkey who has been in jail so long he thinks "freedom" is a story made up by grown-ups to scare baby monkeys, will soon have a family of his own, the AP reports.

Betcha he reads, hums Mally, tucked out of sight in the corner of his cage, huddled over his "treasures" (a tiny bit of green sweater fluff that blew into his water bowl once and a misshaped kibble he named "Lusitania"). Betcha she sews. Maybe she's made me a closet of clothes.

What Mally doesn't know—can't know; can barely even allow himself to dream—is that his months-long prison sentence for the crime of being a thing Justin Bieber wanted is at last at an end. His new family, a mom and dad and even a little sister confusingly named Molly are all waiting for him in his new home: the capuchin monkey exhibit at SERENGETI PARK in Hodenhagen.

He's at the park now, in fact, but a mandatory 25-day quarantine will keep him locked away from his new family for three more weeks. The park's director says he is confident that Mally will integrate with his new friends (and lovers?) without a hitch, when the time comes.

Last week, Mally was formally accepted as a fur-citizen of der Bundesrepublik Deutschland.

And now, a poll. Do you believe (#BELIEVE) Justin Bieber remembers that, two months ago, he had a pet monkey?

On Friday, Justin Bieber expressed "Happy."

[Image via AP]

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