Ah, Modern Love: the New York Times' intellectualizing of chemicals that float between us. Many are awful, some are wonderful, and most are uncomfortable. Today's no different, as they answer an..age-old..question: are old people fucking?
Come on! You know you've wanted to know if your grandparents ever take the dentures out, put them on the nightstand, throw some Count Basie on the gramophone, and get bizz-ay with the sizz-ay. And you know you've always wanted to read something about it the started like this:
I sat on the examining table in my urologist's office...
Woah. Stop it right there, GRANDMA. Is that an ass-doctor you're talking about in the lede? [Ed. No?] Let's get to the good stuff! Are. You. Sexually. Active? Let's see here, blah blah blah, friends joking about not getting laid, it's funny, ha ha, words words words, sharing the same urologist with your husband, blah blah blah, hmm. I don't see anything, ah, wait! We might have a winner...
Physically, cuddling is high on our list. Back rubs are important. Holding hands on walks and in the movie theater is automatic. Yes, we are active - actively involved in each other and in our love of our life together.
BOOOOO.
Yes, We Do. Even at Our Age. [Modern Love]
Follow i once wrote into modern love after a particularly bad breakup about the new, improved, innovative ways i found to look miserable in new york. i didn't send it because that's the kind of shit that actually gets published on Gawker 