Idiot Millennials Not Ready to Die Yet

Entitled members of the "millennial" generation—is there anything that they cannot destroy with their devil-may-care sense of youthful self-regard? The answer is "no." Millennials are now destroying even death.

We must express our great concern over today's Bloomberg report noting that somber, respectable, hardworking adults in the life insurance industry are having a heck of a time meeting their monthly sales quotas, now that they're being forced to market these plans to the god damn millennials. When adults were young, you better bet your bottom dollar that they insured their lives so that their loved ones would have something in the event of their death/ would have a motive to murder them. Today's youngsters? No such concern for the future, I'm afraid. Life insurance policy sales have cratered in the past three decades, and less than one in five 18-29 year-olds is insured. Why?

"I'm not planning on dying any time soon so it's a waste of money," the 30-year-old said while eating lunch and browsing his iPhone at a food court in Toronto's financial district, where he works for Gemini Aviation Inc. as a manager. "When I get married and have kids, maybe then I'll consider it."

Life insurance salesmen: your business will continue to suffer until many, many more millennials die young. If you get my drift.

[Photo: Flickr]