The highly unanticipated and unwanted prequel to Alison’s Gold “Chinese Food” has been released and it’s as unsettling as you’d expect.

“ABCDEFG” is Gold’s newest “song” and it manages to turn the alphabet into a haunting adolescent ballad about unrequited love. Lyrically, it's much simpler than “Chinese Food,” foregoing the raps about chop suey and instead relying on the letters A through P to make the bulk of its argument about life or something.

There’s also some predictably weird shit from writer, director, producer, and YouTube menace Patrice Wilson. The entire video is shot from the perspective of “Mr. Wilson’s Neighborhood”; Wilson, a looming, leering, lurking grown man controls the doll-sized world of Gold and her adorable crush. And at the end of the video, a puppet even roofies the children. It’s precious.


But it’s also profound because it’s basically an origin story involving puppets and eggrolls.


[h/t Buzzfeed]