Police Chief Slams Kanye West in Perfect Open Letter

Tom Cruise got a lot of shit when he merely appeared to compare his job as an entertainer with the hardships endured by a soldier in Afghanistan. But when Kanye unequivicoally made that same exact comparison, he was mostly left to his own mania.

That is, until an Ohio police chief took the quote to heart, and decided to pen the perfect response in the form of an open letter to the Solider of Wealth and Forture.

To refresh your memory, this is what Kanye told SaturdayNightOnline.com last week:

I'm just giving of my body on the stage and putting my life at risk, literally. That mountain goes really, really high. And if I slipped … You never know. And I think about it. I think about my family and I'm like ‘Wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something.'

In his letter, Brimfield Police Chief David Oliver, "Internet sensation" and author of No Mopes Allowed, starts off by thanking Kanye "for putting your life on the line for all of us every day."

Oliver goes on to suggest that Kanye join the actual military, since he is already "accustomed to danger."

"After joining, I would like you to volunteer to be deployed in Afghanistan or one of the numerous other forward locations where our men an women are currently serving," Oliver continued. "When the Taliban starts shooting at you, perhaps you could stand up and let the words flow. I’m sure they would just drop weapons and surrender. You could quite possibly end all wars, just from the enemy being star-struck."

Read the letter in full below:

I want to thank you for putting your life on the line for all of us every day. I know that being a rapper is tough work. I have tried to rap, and it is very difficult to keep up with the pulse of the rhyme flow…although when Ice Ice Baby comes on the radio, I can usually keep up with ol’ Vanilla. Anywho, your job is just some very dangerous work. Most people don't consider... if you rap really fast, without a chance to inhale, you could pass out and hit your head.

That last paragraph was covered in sarcasm. I’m letting you know, just so you do not think I agree with your very ignorant assessment of your career (or any other performer)as it relates to a person in the military or a police officer’s service. You sir, are as misguided as they come. I do have a suggestion for you. Since you are accustomed to danger, from your life as an international rapper, I am strongly encouraging you immediately abandon you career as a super star and join the military. After joining, I would like you to volunteer to be deployed in Afghanistan or one of the numerous other forward locations where our men an women are currently serving. When the Taliban starts shooting at you, perhaps you could stand up and let the words flow. It could be something like “I’m Kanye West, wearing a flak vest.” I’m sure they would just drop weapons and surrender. You could quite possibly end all wars, just from the enemy being star-struck.

Your line of thinking is part of the problem in the world today….which include entertainers thinking they are something more than just entertainers. I know it is supply and demand and the demand for your services is high. I get economics. What I do not get is you EVER comparing what you do for a living to our heroic military members, who are always in harm’s way… and my brother and sister police officers who have to go to work carrying weapons and wearing a bullet-proof vest to protect themselves.

Check yourself, before you wreck yourself….Chief Oliver.

[screengrab via SaturdayNightOnline, cover via Facebook]