“Feed me a line,” failed HP CEO and presidential candidate Carly Fiorina says through gritted teeth as an army of tiny pups squirms in her lap. She is visibly uncomfortable—irate even. But she is smiling a wide-eyed, crazed smile. In a few seconds she will be eating dog food. This is Carly Fiorina’s attempt at being human.
The video was posted by IJ Review in what Mediaite describes as “part of a series... depicting presidential candidates in humorous or self-deprecating situations.” More accurately, it’s a series in which (aspiring) politicians debase themselves in hopes of seeming “down to earth” and “fun.” And Carly Fiorina is very, very bad at it.
She repeats the tired line that “a dog is sad when you’re gone” in Stepford-esque monotone. She tells another dog that “Obama ate your cousin.” Because Carly Fiorina is just like you. Vote Carly Fiorina.