Amid all of humanity’s fantastical projections of future technology, one stands out: we may live to see a day when it is impossible to piss between moving New York City subway cars.
How could such a thing come to be? Friends, we are already on the path to this wondrous era. Second Avenue Sagas points out that buried in the MTA’s latest committee report are renderings of a future subway car design with “open gangways,” meaning that instead of a long string of separate subway cars swaying back and forth, with doors at each end that can be opened so that you can step out onto the hurtling precipice and piss freely as the subterranean air flies by, the cars will be connected via open passages, leaving more interior room on the subway cars but no outdoor space whatsoever. Currently the MTA is only planning to test this design on a handful of cars in the next decade, but if all goes well, the design could potentially be adopted system-wide when the next big subway car order goes through in “the mid-2070s.”
Imagine: your great grandchildren could have the opportunity to piss inside a subway car, by necessity. The future is so bright— I’m forced to wear shades (of yellow—the color of urine).