Even for engaged citizens, the long New York City mayoral campaign can sometimes get a bit tedious. Our city's tabloid reporters work tirelessly to find fresh angles to keep readers interested. How about... INCEST? Or even, dare we say... INCEST BUNDLING?
INCEST, meaning HOT TABOO FAMILY SEX, is an issue that respectable New Yorkers would prefer not to think about over breakfast. (Lie.) But the New York Post, masters of tabloidism, have found a way to link INCEST with our mayoral campaign, and they must, reluctantly, inform us all that INCEST BUNDLING has shockingly become an issue in this campaign— to the dismay of the Post, surely, but look, telling these hard stories is part of what journalism is all about.
We must extend our sympathies to NYP reporter Sally Goldenberg, who wrote a legitimate story highlighting various fund-raising "bundlers" working to raise money for the campaign of Christine Quinn. She mentions, in passing, that one of the bundlers is David Epstein, "a former Columbia professor charged in 2010 with felony incest for allegedly engaging in a three-year consensual relationship with his adult daughter." The headline of the story then became: "This Columbia prof convicted of incest is just one of the shady bundlers raising big money for Christine Quinn." You simply cannot sneak an INCEST charge past the New York Post's eagle-eyed editors, I'm afraid.
What else do we need to know about Mr. Epstein, who once hosted a fundraiser for a mayoral candidate?
His attorney even questioned the difference between incest and homosexuality in Epstein’s defense.
“It’s OK for homosexuals to do whatever they want in their own home. How is this so different?” attorney Matthew Galluzzo asked at the time.
And mayoral candidate Christine Quinn herself is a LESBIAN HOMOSEXUAL!!!
The public deserves answers to the following questions at once:
1. What did Christine Quinn know about INCEST BUNDLING, and when did she know it?
2. Does Christine Quinn believe that INCEST is the same as LESBIAN HOMOSEXUALITY? Which does she believe is hotter? Use examples to illustrate your answer.
If any more Democratic mayoral candidates are found to have links to INCEST, rest assured that the New York Post will not hesitate to publish them. With photos, preferably.