Gawker
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Cue The Benny Hill Music
NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly Can't Keep His Keystone Capos Under Control
Why did NYPD Commissioner Kelly have to throw the heavy hammer of discipline down on his former partner today? Tragically, adorable Pugs and Chasids aren't involved. But: a massive lacking in organization and the potential endangerment of cops' lives are! More »
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By Foster KamerComment by BookishLookish: Do you think Gianelli got pressure from the union to get these desk guys out on the street so they... more » | Other threads
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aww
Malia Obama's Birthday Present Is Nothing Short Of Awesome
Instead of taking a present from her Dad, she got him the resignation of Sarah Palin. Not bad. But seriously: this Chicago Tribune profile of where the Obama girls have spent their last few birthdays is ridiculous-cute. Enjoy. [Chicago Tribune]
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By Foster KamerComment by Mixiboi: I find it humorous that instead of giving us the story, we have to click a link to a dead... 1 Responses | Other threads
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kreepie kats
Kreepie Kats Klassik: The Roman Kandle Stuffed Up Your Pee-Hole Is Kompliments of Your Friendly Neighborhood Kreepie Kats"
[Join Jim Behrle's Kreepie Kats as they inquire as to how much less diabolikal America is now compared to last year, why Moneyball matters (or doesn't), and why Nick Denton isn't working on July 4th. Questions! Answers! Kreepie Cats!] -
Mysteries
Why Did Sarah Palin Resign?
Sarah Palin's resigning from office. What the hell? And she's now supposedly telling people that she's done with politics forever. The entire thing is sketchy. The announcement, reasoning, speculation, and more Friday news-dumping after the jump. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by Hey_mikey: Rahm Emanuel has been chief of staff for a moment now. This is Democratic operative stuff - first Ensign, then... 7 Responses | Other threads
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Breaking
Sarah Palin Resigning From Office
Governor of Russia's Neighboring American Atate and failed Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin is going to resign from her office as Alaska's Supreme Asskicker And Number One Mom. She's not going to be running for a second term. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by lawyergay: That picture is frankly terrifying. Imagine this image--the ever so slightly crossed eyes, the pained smile, the crazy brain under... 10 Responses | Other threads
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Water Sports
The New York Times Would Like Your Children To Stop Pissing On Trees, Please
When a kid pisses on a tree in Manhattan, who hears it? The New York Times, of course! And they're out to take the little bastard to task. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by Foster Kamer: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I misspelled a lede. It's a pre-holiday day! Backoff. 1 Responses | Other threads
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Advertisement
You Can’t Be Too Careful These Days While You’re Relaxing
Throw on some floaties for "Water Wings Day" on the Corona Summerbration calendar. Then you'll be prepared to enjoy cold Coronas, and any amount of water the city may throw at you. -
Predictable Shitshows
Michael Jackson's Memorial Service: Free Online Tickets, "Broadcast Live Around The World"
Details for Michael Jackson's public memorial service on Tuesday are shaping up right now at a press conference. What's important: it's going to be broadcast live on TV and streamed, and tickets can be applied for online right now. More »
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By Foster KamerComment by Josh Knowles: I'm glad that after living a life of nothing but exploitation by the people around him that Michael Jackson will... 10 Responses | Other threads
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Linguistic Fascism
Karl Lagerfeld Will Not Tolerate Hoi Polloi Appropriations Of Chanel
Chanel, the legendary fashion brand run by Mugatu-esque overlord/enemy to Heidi Klums everywhere, Karl Lagerfeld, is pissed. They let everyone know how much they cringe when you use their name to refer to anything but Chanel. Dare speaketh Chanel?! More »
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By Foster KamerComment by resipsaloquacious: Nice try, Foster. This post is merely bait for commenting lawyers to disagree with you and thus give you a... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Gossip Roundup
I Want To Cry Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel A River Of Domestic Empathy
Justin Timberlake, Jessica Biel, and Gary Coleman are all having relationship issues. Megan Fox: macking on Zac Efron and smack-talking Michael Bay. Liza's mob problems, Twilight's freak fanbase, and celebrity cocaine usage! Presenting your pre-Holiday Friday Gossip Roundup: More »
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By Foster KamerComment by DahlELama: I just want JT and Jessica Biel to break up so that she will finally disappear entirely. 17 Responses | Other threads
- Yesterday - July 2, 2009
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Week in Review
The Week of 7,821 Weeks to Go
This week, a bad man went to jail, and many other bad men did not go to jail, no matter how much we wanted them to. More »
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By PareeneComment by Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: I've always wondered this: When a man wears a big, bushy mustache like the one pictured, does it capture... 7 Responses | Other threads
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programming note
The Holiday Weekend Is Upon Us
Because it's our patriotic duty, we won't be publishing on Saturday. However, Foster will be around tomorrow and Sunday. Also, we're making some changes to comments next week: stars are about to become much more powerful, rare. More on Monday.
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Comment by Uncle_Billy_Slumming: I hope this means that Altman will be coming back. 25 Responses | Other threads
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Europe is different
European Officials Keep Reading In Public
Here is the German Economy Minister, Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg, reading a fairy tale about the exchange rate to some children at the behest of "the German Center for Fairy Tale Culture." Ok, Germany! Can you imagine if Geithner did this? More »
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By PareeneComment by snugbug: Bitte entschuldigen Sie alles! Not EVEN close to Bushie's "My Pet Goat" reading performance.. PS: He's quite ANIMATED, for a... 1 Responses | Other threads
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Pic Of The Day
Mourning Light
[That's light coming from within Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch early this morning, near Los Olivos, CA; image via Getty]
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Comment by Violex: And one more thing Gawker. You have written about M.J. from almost every angle, but refuse to write a... 5 Responses | Other threads
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friday night newsdump
Obama Goes Ahead With NSA Internet-monitoring Program
Another Friday afternoon (in spirit!), another "Obama admin continues Bush admin-era 'national security' policy" story. This one is a mysterious NSA program called, ominously, "Einstein 3." More »
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By PareeneComment by Inescapeable Picnic: Wait, what? It sounds like it's only going between the net and civilian government agencies. I think the... 4 Responses | Other threads
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The Internet
50 Cent Squashes Beef With Pubescent Tween Dis Master
Canadian tween 'Pruane2Forever' is best known for calling out 50 Cent for having no street cred, in a YouTube video, filmed in Pruane's South Park poster-bedecked room. Now 50 got him, for real. Click to watch and learn (PR).
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Comment by RaptorAvatar: Unfortunately, we won't really know who the bigger man was until they market the Pruane2Forever Vibrator. 2 Responses | Other threads
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Informatics
Mitt Romney's Foreign Policy in PowerPoint Form
Future president Mitt Romney is both a "Bainiac"—a data-obsessed business android indoctrinated into Bain and Company's cultish worldview—and a Mormon. So his foreign policy is a weird, numerological, schematic mess. Here it is in PowerPoint, his native language. More »
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By John CookComment by hatchetman: So, the media finds a raw document from a non-Democrat, and publishes it. Hey, care to go through some of... 4 Responses | Other threads
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Mysteries
Where In the World is Ruth Madoff?
US Marshals came to evict Ruth Madoff from her fancy apartment today but guess what, she has moved to an undisclosed location. She's gone Cheney! If she's following our advice she's already in Botswana, shoveling poop. [NYP. Pic: Getty] -
Health
Stop Smoking and Kill Yourself
You should stop smoking, doctors say. Here, we have medications to help you stop, doctors say. But oh—these medications could make you kill yourself. What the hell is science good for? More »
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Comment by ChillbearLatrigue: As long as it gets the job done, who cares how someone ends their addiction to cigarettes. Its a disgusting... 16 Responses | Other threads
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Simple truths
The Only Time We'll Say This: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Point
Gwyneth Paltrow, while mostly annoying with her faux Britishness and William Joel-ing, has made at least one good and simple point. Especially as we leave work behind and try to enjoy a holiday weekend. The constant BlackBerrying? Getting really annoying. More »
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Comment by SnarkTard: Isn't that a phone in her hand in the photo? 9 Responses | Other threads
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Lawsuits
Judge Annoints J.D. Salinger the King of the Internet
J.D. Salinger invented blogs, according to a federal judge who granted a temporary injunction yesterday against John David California's planned "parody" of Catcher in the Rye. More »
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By John CookComment by lawyergay: There are few characters less appealing-sounding than a 76-year-old Holden Caufield. 5 Responses | Other threads
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Advertisement
Meet Volkswagen CC
Did you know the CC is actually a sports car wrapped in a luxury sedan? It's an anti-anxiety attack. Meet Volkswagen CC. The most talked about VW in years. -
recaps
Real World Cancun: Please Don't Spit In My Taco
Oh, Mexico. Land of sand and ruins. Place of history and blood. Of vines and mountains. Mexico: where you can get drunk at a laser lightshow nightclub and then spit in your roommate's taco and no one bats an eyelash. More » -
shocker
Michael Wolff Finds Wronged Wife Unpleasant
Incisive Michael Wolff commentary on Jenny Sanford: PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEEE!!
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By PareeneComment by Pope John Peeps II: I don't know, I actually hate to say it, but I sort of agree with it. A wife who manages... 18 Responses | Other threads
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Advertising
Should Police Academy Alumni Direct Microsoft Ads? No.
Microsoft has heard your pleas: it's pulled its "Worst Tech Commercial Ever," which tried to use a puking theme to sell Internet Explorer. And you'll never guess who the director was! You will never guess. More »
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Comment by Pope John Peeps II: I think they were trying to do something that was a little less mainstream Does Bobcat Goldthwait realize that that commercial... 2 Responses | Other threads
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Celebrity autopsies
Pathologist Rules Out Suicide in David Carradine's Death
Coroner-to-the-stars Michael Baden says David Carradine's death was not a suicide, and was caused by asphyxiation. You don't say? More » -
Campaigns
Acting Like a Petulant Child Did Not Endear Sarah Palin to Her Handlers
During the McCain campaign, Roveian media strategist Steve Schmidt proved that he was a shitty Roveian media strategist. He was also responsible for the Palin pick. But he quickly grew to regret that.
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By PareeneComment by Pamela Strangeways: What is the female version of "douche", because that's what I want to call Ms. Palin. Douchesse? Douchette? Douchenozzle? 17 Responses | Other threads
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Human Resources
How Much Do Your Favorite White House Staffers Make?
The White House released a list of all its staffers and their salaries, including the director of African American media, who makes $13,000 per year more than the director of Hispanic media. What would Sonia Sotomayor say? More »
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By John CookComment by Thomas Paladino: I love that I make more than Rahm Emmanuel, David Axelrod and Jon Favreau. Rahm Emmanuel in particular. 6 Responses | Other threads
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Opinions
Twisted Sickos: Should We Shed Tears For Them?
No, argues one columnist who's not afraid to tell it like it is: More »
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Comment by jbwan: I like the part where she says the life of the family who settled for 20 mil was ruined b/c... 9 Responses | Other threads
New York, 7:33 PM
Fri Jul 3
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Transformers blows up this weekend. Need to know more? io9 gets down and dirty with the superbots.
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Gizmodo's just reviewed two great smartphones, the Palm Pre and the iPhone 3GS. Here's a guide to help you decide which is better for you.
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The Life of Steve Jobs - So far.
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