You Will Never Be Able to Escape Your Suburban Office Park

As demographic changes push America's suburbs into a new life as homes to the poor, one of the obvious infrastructural consequences— along with dead malls— is the potential for a plague empty and unwanted office parks. Ugh, nothing could be more depressing. Except for the solution to unwanted office parks.

I'm no "certified city planner," but common sense tells you that the thing to do with empty suburban office parks is to raze them to the ground, napalm the surrounding several square miles, and allow the area to return to nature, praying that the entire suburban office park era will one day be forgotten by future generations who care nothing for the historical mistakes of their ancestors. Developers, however (the same group that's given us bright ideas like suburban office parks), have other plans.

The WSJ reports that as demand for suburban office plummets, developers are doing all they can to ensure that you will never escape.

Hoping to stave off suburban blight, local officials in more than a dozen communities have approved plans for developers to turn aging corporate parks into urban-style complexes with amenities including apartments, stores, movie theaters, bike paths and office space.

The architect's manifesto: "We need to have office space integrated into daily life." Oh. God. Oh god.

[WSJ. Photo: Michael Sean Gallagher/ Flickr]