Of all the royal baby marketing tie-ins — and there have been more than a few — Pizza Hut's "Royal Offer" will likely be crowned the most distasteful.
Not for the offer itself, but rather for the brand marketing intern they made stand outside the company's Plano, Texas, headquarters for the past week in full Queen's Guard regalia to await the announcement that a new British prince had been born.
The "honor" fell to Brady Smallwood, a Brigham Young University graduate who is currently finishing up an MBA at the University of Chicago's Booth School of Business.
"The digital team said I was the most British-looking," Smallwood told Pegasus News last week.
The former Mormon missionary has donned a Royal Guard uniform over his business casual clothes every workday since last Monday, and stood "watch" near a "cheasel" proclaiming a "royal offer" to "loyal fans" courtesy of "The High Order of Pizza Hut of the United States of America."
Not only was the average temperature for Plano a sizzling 95 degrees, it was also expected to rain every single day.
"It’s actually harder to be a royal guard in Texas," Smallwood said, unironically. "They have it easy over there [in the UK]."
The royal offer was finally revealed yesterday: A free side or dessert with the purchase of any medium or large pizza.
God save us all.
UPDATE: Pizza Hut's PR mouthpiece has sent us a statement "clarifying" some things concerning the promotion above.
First, Smallwood "volunteered" for the promotion. Second, he was only outside twice "for a short period of time." Third, Pizza Hut is "committed to the well-being of our employees and would never promote a marketing campaign that threatens this."
In conclusion, keep calm and eat pizza.
[photo via Pizza Hut]