Police have reported that an intruder broke into a couple's home in Albuquerque, N.M. on Sunday evening, put back a big ole bottle of Sprite, then got naked. The couple allegedly found the trespassing hero asleep in their bed, like some blissful adult male Goldilocks.
Investigators are looking into the alleged break-in naked sleeper, 30-year-old Freddy Shelby, who told police he thought he was at his girlfriend's house. Apparently, Shelby was so sound asleep that he was only awoken when police ripped the covers off of him.
According to a criminal complaint, Shelby broke into the couple's home through a window and grabbed a Sprite from the refrigerator before falling asleep in the master bedroom. Authorities say the homeowners found a disrobed Shelby in a deep sleep.
Officers arrived and called to the man, but he slept through it. Authorities say Shelby woke up only after an officer ripped the blankets off him.
A harsh arousal for a Sprite fan and Gawker hero. May all your future sleeps (in jail?) be as deep.