Teens. Always rolling their eyes and making magical pyramids out of fiberglass resin, crystals, and metal shavings in an effort to protect themselves from the negative energies emitted by cell towers. A tale as old as time (itself a construct invented by humans unable to comprehend the concept of eternity).
Radar reports that famous minors Jaden Smith, Willow Smith, and Jaden's rumored girlfriend Kylie Jenner are currently killing time by imagineering a new belief system for themselves. Along with friends like former little guy from Hannah Montana Moisés Arias (the 20-year-old actor who recently was criticized for relaxing in bed shirtless with 13-year-old Willow Smith), the kids have formed a club they call "The Orgonite Society," which describes itself on its public Instagram page as "A Secret Society." The goal of the Orgonite Society: to distribute vibe-cleansing pyramids, hockey pucks, and rectangles in order to "Balance Gaia's Energies."
These the teens make themselves using muffin tins and a total disregard for the value of adult supervision. The resulting scenes of adolescent gaiety are like stills from a Bagel Bites commercial directed by Lars Von Trier:
According to orgonite.info, the .info about these stunning fiberglass paperweights (or "pieces of orgonite") is that they serve to transform negative orgone into positive orgone. (Some people also believe they can repel demons and aliens.) Orgone is a term coined in the late 1930s by the psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich to describe cosmic life energy. Derived from the word "orgasm," it is roughly equivalent to an invisible physical manifestation of Freud's concept of the libido. The process of throwing or burying orgonite near negative energy sources (like cellphone towers) is known as "gifting."
The finished products are beautiful, like items that would retail for at least $22 + shipping on Etsy.
The kids have also been photographed smelling books by Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, or Osho, an Indian guru whose followers famously carried out the largest bioterror attack in United States history when they deliberately contaminated salad bars in restaurants near their Oregon commune with salmonella.
A proponent of group sex and partner swapping as a means to "superconsciousness," Rajneesh was known in India as "the sex guru." At the time of his death, he was believed have the largest privately owned collection of Rolls-Royces in the world, with a stockpile of 93 purchased for him by his followers.
While the Smith family's relationship with Scientology is well-documented (and funded), its members have avoided labeling themselves followers, preferring instead to identify as "students of world religion." Jaden Smith has previously expressed a belief that "If Newborn Babies Could Speak They Would Be The Most Intelligent Beings On Planet Earth."