Jeb Bush found his spirit animal: a small, presumably inanimate turtle, which he carries around in his pocket and gives to children at campaign stops. Zacharie, 13, looks vaguely upset by his gift.

“Slow and steady wins the race,” Bush told the tween upon handing him the tiny tortuga, according to a tweet by CNN reporter Ashley Killough. “The Tortoise and the Hare” is not even a particularly apt allegory for the Bush campaign, which is foundering despite having plenty of money and the support of the most powerful family in Republican politics. The whole point is that no one ever expected the tortoise to win. In that sense, Jeb is more like the hare: the early favorite who sputters out midway through.

He also carries around rosaries and the baby Jesus:

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Only 11 a.m. and already it’s a banner day for sad campaigns.


Contact the author at andy@gawker.com.