The Baby Name Critic isn't one to ogle the male specie. She prefers to keep them at more than arm's length. Why, you ask? Because they can physically impregnate you at any minute! And even though the Baby Name Critic loves to critique baby names, she prefers not to be around babies. Also, men are awful (© official slogan of the Baby Name Critic franchise, est. 2014).
But Scott Foley, né Garner, as in Jennifer Garner, as in Sydney Bristow, as in Hannah Bibb, as in Mrs. Ben Horrible Affleck, is quite handsome. I think he is very good on Scandal, navigating all those television screens. Apparently he has recovered and remarried after divorcing the woman with the deepest dimples in Hollywood, who later told Allure that the photogenic couple "didn't have a shot." (For what it's worth, she also said that Ben Affleck is "taller than you'd expect." Crazy shit.)
Foley is now married to Marika Dominczyk, a Polish-American actress (and a daughter of a Polish solidarity movement leader) who has appeared in I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and National Lampoon's Bag Boy. They have a daughter, Malina, and a son, Keller, and this week welcomed a baby boy: Konrad.
This is an interesting case for the Baby Name Critic. How do we deal with sibling-name continuity in the modern age? Malina is a Polish name, meaning raspberry. Konrad, though Germanic in origin, is popular in Poland as well. But Keller—Keller is a suburb of Dallas. The surname of Helen. A for-profit business school.
Foley's middle name is Kellerman, so the impulse behind young Keller's name is klear. But I do not like it. The brood is immediately divided: Two have Polish names, and one is named after dad. It's two against one, with the middle child singled out. Life will either be great for him, or horrible. Like when you dream your whole life of playing Batman but then your ex-wife's husband gets cast. It should have been you. It should have been you.
It's hard to be a man.
Leah Finnegan is Gawker's Baby Name Critic.
[Pic via Getty]