If you’re attending the very trendy youth-oriented music conference South by Southwest this month, you might consider stopping by to watch an up-and-coming alt-country musician named Joe Scarborough sling a few songs at the Moody Theater. Joe has written over 400 songs, composed a musical, and loves “Graham Parsons & The His Idols,” according to his own biography.
Joe Scarborough, who also apparently hosts a basic cable show of some kind, has been playing in bands since he was 14 years old. “Austin Texas,” the song embedded on his SXSW page, has hokey lyrics and is about two minutes too long, but is otherwise basically fine. (It’s definitely better than his song about 9/11.) Let’s take a closer look at that biography, however:
Joe Scarborough has been a teacher, football coach, congressman, lawyer, news host, best-selling author and just about everything else he’s dreamed of doing. But the Morning Joe host’s first love has always been music. The composer of over 400 songs and a musical, Joe has spent the past year recording his latest songs with styles that echo Beck, Graham Parsons & The His Idols, The Beatles. But 30 years and hundreds of songs later, the sound is distinctly “Joe.”
I’m having a little bit of trouble parsing the part I’ve bolded. First of all, “Graham Parsons” is not a musician, but rather an assistant professor in the philosophy department at West Point. Scarborough may have meant Gram Parsons. Second of all, we have “Graham Parsons & The His Idols, The Beatles,” which I can only assume happened because this thing was dictated into Siri. (Joe Scarborough & His Idols would make a pretty cool Link Wray-style band name, though.)
Finally, “Joe Scarborough has been a teacher, football coach, congressman, lawyer, news host, best-selling author and just about everything else he’s dreamed of doing.” Dreamed of doing, not dreamed of being. One way to interpret that sentence is that Joe Scarborough has done just about everything he has ever dreamed of doing, a list which includes but is not limited to being a teacher, a football coach, a congressman, etc. Another way to interpret it is that sure, Joe Scarborough has been a best-selling author, but what he’s really dreamed about is doing a best-selling author.
If you’re wondering whether perhaps the errors are on SXSW’s end, not Scarborough’s, notice that they also appear in the above image macro, which was taken directly from his personal website. If you’re going to write a ridiculous, self-fellating bio, at least get your ridiculous, self-fellating bio right.
If you have any information about Joe Scarborough’s musical, please email me.