Tonight at 9 p.m. EST, every GOP candidate who is not a[n openly] narcissistic, insolent infant will be debating on the Fox News stage for the one thousandth time. Also at 9 p.m., Donald Trump will be offering counter programming in the form of his very own, hastily assembled “Fuck You Fox News” rally. Who will win? Trick question—tonight, we all lose.

We’ll be streaming both events side by side in both our liveblogs tonight (theoretically assuming it works!). You’ll also be able to stream Trump’s disaster of an event on YouTube here, and the Fox News debate will be streaming on its own website here. But don’t worry, friends; because we love you and hate ourselves, Gawker will be liveblogging both events this evening. That’s right: Two liveblogs, two GOP last-ditch pleas for votes, and one godawful election. We can’t wait.