When the Associate Press called Justin Bieber's Tuesday night performance at Newark's Prudential Center "phoned in," they weren't kidding around.
As fans tossed increasingly ludicrous items on stage for Bieber to fondle, the singer felt the need to briefly stop the show and ask Beliebers to please "refrain" from throwing their shit at him.
And that's when things got weird.
No sooner did Bieber finish reciting Webster's definition of "refrain" than he was hit with the most insane projectile of all: A working smartphone.
An unfazed Bieber, who probably uses smartphones as paperweights, proceeded to pick up the phone and stick it down his physics-defying pants.
After a moment of cradling it in the bosom of his swaggy balls, Bieber took the phone out and tossed it back into the audience, where it ended up in the horny hands of an entirely different screecher.
"That was not a good tactic to get girls to stop throwing stuff on stage haha," notes a YouTube commenter. "Now everyone's going to want their phone in his pants."
Penis phone shenanigans start around the 1:15 mark: