Here's a great lede: "Kanye West just attacked an 18-year-old guy inside the waiting room of a chiropractor's office..." Of course he did.

TMZ has the report. Of course they do.

Here's what allegedly happened: Kim Kardashian was walking into a Beverly Hills chiropractor's office while swarmed by paparazzi. An as-yet-unidentified 18-year-old held the door open for her and commented, "Fuck these faggot-ass niggers," as she passed. Kim told him that it wasn't appropriate to say "niggers." "But 'faggot-ass' was a nicely descriptive touch," she added. (That last part is not in the TMZ report.)

The sensitive 18-year-old didn't like being corrected, so he responded, "Fuck you, bitch. Just trying to help you. Shut up, nigger lover, stupid slut."

And that, as TMZ puts it, "got Kim as hot as fish grease." Kanye soon arrived on the scene, punched the 18-year-old, and then Kim shrieked, "We have it all on tape!" Police arrived, the 18-year-old wants to sue. Of course he does.

Meanwhile, the world waits with bated breath for that tape.

[Image via Getty]