As current beef goes, this one is almost as lame as The Weeknd saying that The-Dream looks like the Hamburglar on Twitter, but public name-calling is public name-calling, and so we will share this particularly stupid incident with you: Piers Morgan, CNN's premier ruddy-faced gasbag, is still really pissed at Kate Moss.

Back in his Daily Mail days, Morgan detailed a tumultuous relationship with the model, which included her kicking him and then, somehow, getting him to apologize for it (that hints at a terrifying manipulative streak, huh?). For reasons unclear, Morgan chose this week to revive old feelings in the Mirror:

"Kate Moss is utterly horrific," he adds. "If people actually knew what she was like they would never, ever be interested in her again.

"She's just a real, spoilt little madam from Croydon. There's nothing wrong with Croydon – I was brought up near Croydon. But she's just a vile little creature."

Morgan also took the time to rag on Madonna, who he compared to Conan the Barbarian: "She's looking even more barbaric than ever at the moment, utterly grotesque."

"She's a complete con artist and those arms are just terrifying," he added.

Sure. But I bet she can punch.

[Mirror. Photo: Getty.]