Kathleen Parker Is Certain that Black People Are Riot-ProneS

Kathleen Parker, a syndicated columnist not worth reading, is one of America's foremost advocates of Racism as Common Sense. "Please," we beg her, "won't you offer your take on the shooting of a white man by some black youths, in order to unwittingly expose your own prejudices?" Yes, she will.

This column has been out for a couple of days, but we would not want you, the gentle reader confused about America's long history of racial animosity, to miss out on the insights of this unpopular and vacuous spokesperson for liberal racism. One might imagine that, after everyone points out the abhorrent implications of Parker's columns dealing with race, she might revise her views, or at least shy away from the topic. Not at all! Kathleen Parker is unafraid to stand up and tell it like it is, in Kathleen Parker's imagination.

Last week, young white man Christopher Lane was tragically shot and killed by two black teenagers, in an act of senseless random violence. That is sad. What it is not is indicative of some larger truths on race. Do not tell that to Kathleen Parker. First, she establishes her tough-talking and boldly realistic credentials by saying that she, too, has been followed while in fancy department stories— just like black people! Allow her to keep it real, will you?

I’m betting that few women today clutch their purses tighter when a well-groomed man, black or white, enters the elevator. A punk wearing his britches around his rump and telegraphing attitude? Even Jesse Jackson — or Eminem — might feel a tingle of discomfort.

Nothing is fair about profiling, but one’s treatment by a stranger is not always necessarily linked to one’s racial or ethnic history. Sometimes it’s just . . . you.

Yes, and sometimes a dude that texts you "What RU wearing?" at 2 a.m. is merely interested in fashion. But not always. (Also: "A punk wearing his britches around his rump and telegraphing attitude?" No wonder she is a Pulitzer Prize winner.) Anyhow, enough with the speculation. Now, Kathleen Parker says what she is certain of:

We do know this much for certain: Had the races been reversed, the usual suspects would have had much to say. White teens beat up an elderly black veteran and leave him for dead? White teens shoot a talented black athlete visiting from another country?

Riots.

Many things in this world are uncertain, but of this, upper middle class middle-aged white woman Kathleen Parker can be sure: if white teens shot a talented black athlete visiting from another country, there would be riots. By black people. (In another country? Unclear.) Because black people, well... you know how they are. They're prone to rioting. Anyone shoots a black person, and there are always riots. Just like those, uh, huge riots that happened after Trayvon Martin was shot. Right?

Kathleen Parker would have fit right in on the George Zimmerman jury.

[Washington Post. Photo: Getty]