Apple's just-announced iPhone 6L is 5.5 inches long: enormous by smartphone standards, but not even adequate in the eyes of morning show size queen Kelly Ripa. You expect her to use that tiny thing? Really? You have no idea how huge her purse is.
Well, Kelly, 5.5 inches is actually bigger than average for a "phablet"—if you go much larger than that, you're talking about a full-on tablet. Because Apple already makes the iPad mini, it wouldn't make sense to—oh. I see what you did there. Penises.