Earlier this week, U.S. president Barack Obama defiled this nation's highest dessert office by asking whether White House pastry chef Bill Yosses "puts crack" in his delicious pie crusts. Now, Yosses is speaking out on his struggle for the very first time.
Obama's shocking "shout out" to an illegal drug had the US media aflame. Sample real lede of a story in a major US newspaper: "It's not every day you hear a president joke about crack cocaine — in White House pies, no less." We second this, times one thousand. Today, in a shocking follow-up American journalism television program INSIDE EDITION reveals EXCLUSIVELY to GAWKER.COM via press release what retiring White House pastry chef BILL YOSSES has to say about his president's shocking claims.
Yosses whipped up the President's favorite nectarine pie for INSIDE EDITION, starting with the famous crust that got him the nickname, "Crust King."
"Crust King"... lol
YOSSES: "There's one other thing that I suppose we can call secret. And that is, I put a little bit of lard in the pie dough."
If "Deep Throat"-style White House insider "The Crust Punk" is to be believed, the Muslim president of the United States is literally incapable of stopping himself from drinking pure pig fat like a horse drinks water. Is this the sort of "role model" you want for your child?