This week, our correspondents loved up on Aubrey Plaza's alternative, alternative ego, complained about their careers, were perplexed about how Gawker could criticize something that was for sale, and made a silly (and glamorous!) incorrect correction to a popular 2008 article regarding photos of a disrobed Carla Bruni. Read these little epistolary wonders below!

We've got opinions and advertisers. I don't know, it just works.

Subject: Rich Juzwiak/Linda Lovelace

Body: curious as to how you can accept advertising revenue from the promotion of the linda lovelace movie and then bash said movie with a lengthy article. the curiosity is that why would anyone want to advertise with you in the future.

Brevity is appreciated, your peremptory tone is not.

Subject: Tip

Body: Sea Hag Content. That's all. Get to work.

"or whatever."

Subject: This Blows

Body: I work two jobs one at a the corporate office of a resort company full time and the other at a comedy club part time, and i still have no fuckin money. Thanks osama! or whatever.

This correspondent discovered a broken link, while searching for "jewelry" and stumbling upon a 2008 article about Carla Bruni's nudity. The link was to the auction house Christie's, which was selling nudie portraits of the former First Lady of France, so the writer naturally suggested replacing the broken link to the website he works for: Glamour Goddess Jewelry. Glamour Goddess Jewelry turns out to be a hilarious website for rhinestone purveyors—it contains every shade of pale lavender and pastel peach imaginable and features a whole section devoted to "Dance Jewelry." So to answer you, dearest glitter vendor, the link won't be corrected to this funny-ass jewelry website, so no love from 2008, but look at all the 2013 coverage you get!

Subject: Website Enquiry

Body: Hi there,

My name is [redacted] and I came across your site after doing Google search for our Jewelry project.

During my search I found a dead page link on your site and wanted to point it out to the person in charge of making website changes.

Keyword (Anchor text of Broken URL) -” Christie's”

Page on Which dead link exist -…

Which points to dead URL-…

You can replace that dead link with a similar resource that I found on this webpage

I hope this email reaches you safely and helps you out a bit and looking forward to hearing back from you soon.


[redacted] Tech - Department-

That's all in our monkey poop correspondence this week. Have an enjoyable weekend. Try to spend some time out of doors. Look into finding some Dance Jewelry. Take a little jaunt in the sunshine!

To contact the author of this post, please email Art by Jim Cooke.