Because you need more help, and because we were being inadvertently sexist:

• Elizabeth Spy-ers.
• Ah-too-sah Rubenstein.
• Laurel Toe-bee.
• Lola Oh-gun-ah-key.

Earlier:
Gawker Explainer: Names in the News
Gawker's coverage of Elizabeth Spiers
Gawker's coverage of Atoosa Rubenstein
Gawker's coverage of Laurel Touby
Gawker's coverage of Lola Ogunnaike