The Main Line. A tony, stony region of suburban Philadelphia where the cricket clubs chirp and the toddlers take Mandarin and the driveways are covered with dead mice and snakes. Just a beautiful, fancy area, full of old money and a few NFL players, and a shit ton of dead mice and snakes. Perfect for raising a family of humans or a family of dead mice and snakes.
It’s the kind of place where you know your neighbors, probably because they keep sneaking over to your mansion in the middle of the night and strewing your property with dead mice and snakes.
Police in Lower Merion Township (the 5th highest-earning community in America) have just accused husband and wife luxury real estate duo Jonathan and Andrea Straub of planting dead mice and snakes in the driveway of their next door neighbor’s $1 million home in an effort to sabotage its sale. The Straubs’ home is also for sale. It has a pool, a library, and no mice or dead snakes.
The Philadelphia Inquirer reports that surveillance footage allegedly shows the Straubs cutting branches off trees, knocking over “For Sale” signs and, of course, tossing dead animals onto the yard of their neighbor’s property. A police spokesman says cops showed the couple the footage and that Jonathan admitted it was them and apologized effusively. The couple also described the "For Sale" signs of their neighbor, who is selling her home herself, to cops as “tacky.”
The Straubs were cited for disorderly conduct and harassment. A lawyer for the couple told the Inquirer the charges were “absurd” and said they hadn’t strewn dead vermin around their neighbor’s property. He added that there are dead mice and snakes everywhere, which is sort of an odd nightmarish thing to say about a neighborhood where your clients are trying to sell a home.
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