Maggie Gyllenhaal: I Have No Idea What My Name Is

You know that actress Maggie Gyllenhaal? No you don't, because she doesn't exist.

You're thinking of Margolit Gyllenhaal, a 36-year-old American woman "Maggie" Gyllenhaal was recently surprised to learn is alive, and also that she is.

This, according to "Maggie" Gyllenhaal's birth certificate.

On Friday, the actress told the energetic people ostensibly named Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan that she stumbled across her true name by chance, while undergoing the process of adopting the surname "Sarsgaard," in honor of Peter Sarsgaard, an actor to whom she is married and whose work she enjoys.

Last month she told the Guardian, "Neither of my parents can remember how [Margolit] got on the birth certificate," adding that she'd always believed her birth name was "Margaret."

And this is the measure where Chaos asks Margolit to dance.

During her appearance on Live with Kelly & Michael, Gyllenhaal stated that "Maggie" is the name she uses on all pieces of official identification.

Maggie's on everything! Maggie's on my driver's license, my passport, everything!

But how could that be the case if she had always known her full name to be "Margaret?"

One wonders, too, how "Maggie" made it through 35 years of life without ever once being required to turn over her birth certificate for an official inspection.

And even if, somehow, she wasn't—if the State Department had taken her parents' word that their daughter's name was "Maggie," and if, from that very first passport, she was able to spin out an entire universe of official documents and forms and records in which she was "Maggie," sweet, silly "Maggie" with the kicky short hair and the puppydog eyes—had she really never once in adolescence taken out her birth certificate and studied it hard (the name; the parents; the county), believing it surely would reveal some proof or clue that she could not possibly be related to these people?

Didn't she ever need to know her exact time of birth to make an accurate astrological chart?

How much do we know about Margolit?

As much as what Margolit knows about her identity.

Nothing.

[Image via Getty]