Last week, a man shopping at a Pittsburgh-area Walmart reached into a box of bananas, only to have a fucking scorpion latch onto his hand with its pincers.
"I yanked my arm out and flung it, and this scorpion flopped to the ground," the man, who was shopping with his two-year-old and three-year-old children, told KDKA. "I was standing there in disbelief looking and there was another shopper there and people started to converge, and sure enough it was a scorpion."
"[I was] standing there in a state of disbelief, not really believing that a scorpion had just grabbed onto me in Scott Township," he added.
The man quickly threw the box's lid on top of the scorpion and squashed it.
A Walmart official expressed surprise that the arachnid survived the weeks-long journey to the store, though the company agreed to pay for the man's injuries, which were minor.