If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if we pay you for a PlayStation 3 and you never deliver, do we not spam your phone with Shakespeare until you submit?
Graphic designer Edd Joseph, of Bristol, U.K., is putting on his own personal revenge play after the gaming console he bought on Gumtree (basically the British Craiglist) never showed up.
After trying to cancel the sale—he couldn't, because he'd paid by direct bank transfer—and contacting the police to no avail, he came up with an ingenious plan. Copying and pasting passages from the web into a text message doesn't cost anything, so he sent his nemesis the complete text of 22 Shakespeare plays.
Hamlet, Macbeth, Othello, and more have blown up the scammer's phone with 17,424 texts, costing Joseph exactly nothing.
He's started to get responses, too.
"I got the first reply after an hour, and then a few more abusive messages after that. His phone must have been going off pretty constantly for hours," he told the Bristol Post, "But recently he has taken to calling me and giving me abuse on the phone. I tried to ask him if he was enjoying the plays, but he was very confused."
"I'm not a literary student, and I'm not an avid fan of Shakespeare but I've got a new appreciation you could say," Joseph added. "Especially for the long ones."
Update: To clarify, Joseph's phone carrier splits long messages into multiple texts—so he only needed to copy and paste 22 times.