A Minnesota hardware store employee has been arrested after admitting that he repeatedly jerked off on a coworker's desk, ejaculating into her coffee, because he was attracted to her and wanted her to notice him.
John R. Lind, 34, told police he came in the woman's coffee cup twice since February, and finished on her desk another 4 times, using one of her scrunchies to wipe up the mess. Police say Lind told them he knew his actions were "gross and wrong."
The coworker did eventually notice Lind, catching him at her desk with his hands on his crotch. She told police he turned around and looked at her like "a deer in the headlights." He tried to cover by telling her he'd just come in to ask her a question, but the gross evidence was damning.
The worker told police she inspected her desk and found fluid on the surface, dripping onto the floor. A lot of it had been absorbed into her hair scrunchy, which she put into a plastic bag. When at the scene, officers collected her coffee mug, coffee and scrunchy.
The coworker also said Lind had approached her with his zipper down so many times that she was considering reporting him for harassment. He now faces two counts of criminal sexual conduct, with the possibility of a year in jail and a $4,500 fine.
The victim told police she had noticed her coffee tasted strange recently—more than just two times since February—and she initially suspected spoiled cream. After they told her what Lind had admitted to, she said "I knew it."
[Photo via Shutterstock]