Man Named Don Popadick Is Arrested for Flashing People in the Park

In Mooney's Bay Park, to be precise. Wait, why are you laughing?

Yes, the celestial orbs appear to be in syzygy this week. After Mooney's park-goers in Ottawa, Canada, complained of an adult male indecently exposing himself on multiple occasions over the past two weeks, the police were on it. They were able to nail the perp yesterday, apparently mid-act, on a park path at 9:00 a.m., according to an Ottawa Police Service press release:

On April 29th, 2014, the Sexual Assault and Child Abuse Unit charged Donald POPADICK, 62 years old, of Ottawa, with Indecent Act and Mischief. He is to appear in court on Wednesday.

The suspect is described as a white male in his 60's, balding with white hair wearing prescription eyeglasses.

Sex crimes are no joke. And obviously, Popadick has a right to remain silent. But if asked about the allegations, I hope Popadick would say: "You gotta do what you gotta do."

[Note: The photo is not Mooney's Bay Park, but Love Valley in Cappadoccia. There's something compelling to me about that pic, but I just can't put my finger on it. Credit: Herakles Kritikos/Shutterstock]