Marine Todd Is Real, and He's Running for Congress

You know what America has too much of? Godless socialist hippie brainwashing of our youth, who are the future. You know what America needs? Some Marine Todds to crack hippie skulls. You know who Aaron Miller is? He's the evolution-hatin' Marine Todd our Congress needs!

Mother Jones' Tim Murphy notes that Miller, an (Army, not Marine) Iraq vet who's running for Congress in Minnesota, wants to put it to the atheistic hordes of ACLU college professors and grade-school goons who cram America's fair gullet up to the uvula with talk of men being monkeys' uncles!

Miller recently "explained that he was running for office in part to ensure that his daughter won't have to learn about evolution at her local public school," Murphy notes, citing a Mankato Free Press report on Miller's comments:

He also called for more religious freedoms. He repeated his story about his daughter returning home from school because evolution was being taught in her class. He said the teacher admitted to not believing in the scientific theory to his daughter but told her that the government forced him to teach the lesson.

"We should decide what is taught in our schools, not Washington D.C.," Miller said.

Miller has declined to provide any more information to verify his story.

Aaron Miller/Marine Todd has no time for your story verification! Because he's too busy racking up verified kills—of jihadis, sure, but mostly of communist khans who want to deflower his daughter's virgin ears with all that Darwinist claptrap.

[Photo credit: Miller for Congress; h/t Ben Dreyfuss]