Billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, who sells your private information for profit, was recently asked about his sartorial philosophy during a Facebook town hall—more specifically, why does the precocious genius behind the foremost destination for social networking choose to wear such simple, humble threads every day when he could be blinged out in bespoke sharkskin suits and a diamond necklace that reads "IKNOWEVERYTHINGBOUTUBITCH"?
"It's a very simple question in a way, but it really speaks to how we think about the community here. I really want to clear my life to make it so that I have to make as few decisions as possible about anything except how to best serve this community. And there's actually a bunch of psychology theory that even making small decisions around what you wear, or what you eat for breakfast, or things like that, they kind of make you tired and consume your energy. And my view is, I'm in this really lucky position where I get to wake up every day and help serve more than a billion people. And I feel like I'm not doing my job if I spend any of my energy on things that are silly or frivolous about my life, and that way, I can dedicate all my energy to building the best products and services and helping us reach our goal and achieve our mission."
"So even though it kind of sounds silly — that that's my reason for wearing a gray T-shirt every day — it also is true."
Vanessa Friedman, the New York Times' style critic who in the past has done a swell job of profiling enterprising rich white African small business owners, went so far as to compare Zuckerberg's statement to a similar one from Barack Obama in a 2012 Vanity Fair profile.
"You'll see I wear only gray or blue suits," he said. "I'm trying to pare down decisions. I don't want to make decisions about what I'm eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make."
"I feel a trend in executive dressing rationales coming on," Friedman wrote. Sure, there is some similarity to their answers. Two busy men wear the color gray. But let's be clear: Barack Obama volunteered a succinct answer when likely asked about his fashion choices. Mark Zuckerberg vomited out a bunch of nu-speak. Therefore, Barack Obama is still the president, and Mark Zuckerberg will always be a little bitch in a hoodie.
[Photo via AP]