As Coolio walked through the valley of the shadow of death (which is what he likes to call the San Fernando Valley, maybe) he took a look at his life and realized he had nothing left—except an offer to collaborate with PornHub, a popular website people visit while they masturbate.
TMZ reported that Coolio, 50, decided to release his "comeback" single, "Take It To The Hub," through PornHub in exchange for some takeout from El Pollo Loco and some of the site's talent appearing in the music video. That's a fair deal, considering a Coolio song hasn't charted in 14 years.
TMZ has a clip from the video shoot, featuring some car washing, halfhearted twerking, and a dinosaur costume. "Look like you're having a good time!" the director urges at one point. His task is hopeless.
"Take It to the Hub" is no "Fantastic Voyage," but then again, 2014 Coolio is no 1994 Coolio.
Update: Coolio says TMZ misconstrued the purpose of this music video. It's not a "new single" disguised as a PornHub ad—it's literally just a PornHub ad.
"I don't know why TMZ always has to do that bullshit, man," Coolio told Rolling Stone, "I let them into the video shoot willingly and then the first thing they do is talk bullshit about me and try to make me look bad. They were trying to say it was my comeback. Man, I ain't trying to make no fuckin' comeback off some porn."
As for his actual rap career, he had this to say:
"It's not even my song that I'm putting out. I'm never doing a new album. I'll probably do nothing but singles. I'm as good as anybody out there lyrically and conceptually and can go toe to toe with the best of them throughout history. But I don't know how much longer I'll be doing it. It's not really fun anymore."
He added that he would be willing to do an exclusive album for PornHub for enough money.