Michael Shannon Offers Dramatic Reading of Insane Sorority Girl Letter

Our first choice of actor to stage a dramatic reading of "The Most Deranged Sorority Girl Email You Will Ever Read" was, of course, Richard Dreyfuss.

His gravelly grumbling and mustache would have been perfect complements to University of Maryland Delta Gamma Rebecca Martinson's unhinged and rage-filled treatise to her "fucking WEIRD" sorority sisters. Alas, we never heard back from the hoary thespian, but Funny or Die got the next best thing: the wildly talented and crazy-eyed dramatic force that is Michael Shannon, whose range and emotive features provide a new depth to Martinson's missive, the most important addition to the literary canon this year. Coming from him, "cunt punt" sounds practically Shakespearian.