Millennials Are Taking Their Parents to Work With Them

The so-called "Millennial" generation—the devil-may-care social media influencers who hold in their tepid little hands the metaphorical keys to America's future—are now old enough to be working at "real" jobs. But not old enough to forsake mommy's warm embrace.

Normally we try to debunk these sweeping, overgeneralized trend stories, but when they concern millennials, we embrace them, because, youngsters— fuck them, you know? Says here in the Wall Street Journal that some members of the greedy millennial generation, those little sellouts, are so coddled by their "helicopter parents" who've fed them a steady diet of entitlement sandwiches their entire lives that even when the kids grow up and get jobs, they can't leave mom and dad at home. Companies desperate to recruit these savvy "hip" high Klout-scored intergenerational brand ambassadors are, in turn, feeding into their disgusting tendency to stay attached to mother's teat, unto death. It's a loathsome spectacle of America's decline into a second-rate nursery school for video game addicts, is what it is, honestly.

Michael Van Grinsven, field-growth and development director at the [Northwestern Mutual], says the company does everything it can to accommodate the parents of college-aged interns, including regularly inviting them to the office for open houses. "It's become best practice," Mr. Van Grinsven says..

A 2012 survey of more than 500 college graduates by Adecco, a human-resources organization, found that 8% of them had a parent accompany them to a job interview, and 3% had the parent sit in on the interview.

Shall we install wet nurses upon whose teats you can suckle at the workplace, you little baby-persons? Shall we? Shall we do that for you? The idea is growing on us.

[WSJ. Photo: Shutterstock]