PROBLEM: There are so many millennials today, but they can’t afford to stay in your company’s nice hotels. SOLUTION: Build shittier motels—for millennials.

As you know if there is one thing millennials enjoy it is “authentic” travel experiences, such as sleeping on a cheap mattress atop peeling carpet and gazing at a mildew-stained ceiling in a real shit hole. Millennials are relatively young, so they don’t have a lot of money, but they are gullible, making them an attractive target to our nation’s top corporate purveyors of “authentic” wares, and shit.

For example: the Hilton corporation knows damn well that most millennials can’t afford to stay in nice classy Hilton hotels every night. They’d rather sleep in the dirt, and use their meager savings to buy “molly.” How, then, does the Hilton corporation wring dolla$$$$ from this valuable demographic group, of suckers? Well, by building a line of shitty ass hotels just for millennials, of course.

Bloomberg reports that Hilton is considering this strategy. We call them shitty hotels, but we are the untrustworthy tabloid media, prone to hype and lies; according to Bloomberg, these are simply “small, cheap hotels... more of a micro-hotel... no-frills... budget accommodation... hostel-like... with lower prices and less service.”

So it’ll still be nice.

Why “air b and b” when you can join a trusted brand experience, with your baeys?

[Photo: Nitram242/ Flickr]

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