Boring person clothing store THE GAP, faced with falling sales, has announced that it will close 175 stores across America in a sad attempt to feel less unpopular. Who is responsible? Yes, it’s the dreaded millennials.
Millennials, a fictitious demographic group of people younger than you at work who don’t know shit but think they do, spend most of their time now systematically destroying institution that you, the “Gen X-er,” hold dear. Now that millennials have a few bucks in their pockets, nowhere is safe from their assault of violent uniqueness. The Washington Post reports that “The problem, experts say, is that Gap has failed to keep up with its target customers — the millennials — who have a dramatically different fashion sense from the generation before them. These shoppers are less interested in name brands and more about creating their own unique style.”
Wow isn’t that special.
I guess millennials are just so cool. Yeah right. So tell me kids, where is the unique place that you do buy your clothes from now, hot shots? What does the latest market research say.
You guys are the worst meaninglessly broad demographic category I’ve ever seen!